A lover of love

Why do I love Romance

I am a romance-a-holic.  I love love. I love Romance.  I love the feelings of romance.  I have always loved it. There isn’t really a part of romance I don’t  love. There are only a few tropes I choose not read, but overall I love them all.  

I have always been a reader.  Most of my early childhood memories have some book or story as part of them. 

Not every Romance story is a bodice ripping naughty books. Not every love story has to have sex, but please understand I love the sexy parts.  Sometimes the more sexy times the better, who am I kidding all the time the more sexy the better. 

The first love story I ever remember reading would be Charlotte’s Web. I know that is a children’s book but it is about love. It is about the love that develops between friends and caregivers.  It was a great example of what love can be and the power it has. It is more than just Fern’s love of Wilbur and what she is willing to sacrifice for him. But also, the deep love Wilbur has for Charlotte.  She is everything for him. While not a typical romance it laid the foundation of what draws me to these stories. It showed me that even within love there is sacrifice.  

As in life you evolve, so do the things you love evolve.  I absolutely had an evolution in my love of romances, I started out with the love of friends, and sacrifice is part of love, to young love, puppy love, and secret crushes of adolescence.  

My next memorable romance read would be The Babysitters Club’s Mary Anne and Logan.  I was a super awkward kid. I was not overly social and in today’s terms I was absolutely bullied ( in the 80’s we didn’t call it that).  Books created escapes for me and ideals. I wanted to know what it was like to have a crush. I wanted to experience a boyfriend. The sweet relationships of BSC and Sweet Valley Twins showed me what to look for in relationships and created experiences without me having to go through the trails myself. I absolutely lived vicariously through my books.  In the world that these stories created for me it was safe space to think about love.  

I started reading adult romances as a young teen (15).  I would sneak books from my mother’s bookshelves and beside her bed.  She always had a stack of books at the ready. She always had the latest Jude Deveraux. (They had gone to college together and so it was a thing with her books).  Within the pages of these books I discovered what adult love can be. 

I truly believe that the women and stories of these pages helped create ideals of the passion I wanted to experience in my relationships.  It showed me what characteristics I desired in a partner. It showed me that in true love there is acceptance. It also showed me that relationships aren’t always perfect, because every good book is going to have twist and turns and antagonists.  These books have shown me what a strong woman can endure. These stories became guides for me on relationships not just romantic ones, but also friendships. Think about the best friend in some of your stories, or the sister. These stories don’t just show you romantic relationships but friendship.  

Romance Books absolutely give women power.  One of the biggest powers that reading romance gave me was the power to be so Sex Positive.  Romance showed me that there is no shame in desire or sexual fulfillment. It provided for me the ability to understand that my desire is acceptable. Romance also gives women the words so they can use to express their desires to their partner.  There should not be any shame or stigma attached to sex. Think about how many women read 50 Shades of Grey, while terrible written, it did help bring to the forefront that women have desires and it is ok to go for them. 

I have never felt shame that I read romance novels.  (The shame might be in the sheer number of them I own.) To me there is a power in them that not many see.  There is something special and accepting within the romance genre. There is something there for everyone, no matter how you love or who you love,  there is a story out there for you. 

Honestly my friends, live out your love, embrace your desires, and read what makes you happy!